More than Anything

A few years ago Natalie Grant came out with a song called “More than Anything”. I’ve heard her talk about the very personal connection she has to that song, in an interview with KLove, because she had gone through a battle with cancer that took her to her knees before our Heavenly Father.

The chorus says:

“Help me want the Healer, more than the healing. Help me want the Savior, more than the saving. Help me want the Giver, more than the giving. Help me want You Jesus, more than anything.”

I have had my own battles with illness over the year. Endometriosis, cysts, depression, anxiety, Supravascular tachycardia, adrenal fatigue, gluttony, anorexia, bulimia…the list goes on. I sought healing through big pharma, new-age therapies, and much more. If it could help, I tried it. I finally gave up and realized nothing was going to work. I decided to go to Scripture and see what the Word has to say about everything.

The goal was to seek the Father and allow Him to be enough. I gave up the notion that I would ever be skinny again, feel strong and get healthy. I decided to love myself and my body while I gave myself the daily grace I needed to get through the pain.

I was done with little pills that promised healing and gave nothing more than extra side effects. I was done with monthly supplements that promised to treat the issue rather than be a bandaid. Everything synthetic and natural didn’t work! I decided to give it all up and live life overweight, inflamed, in pain, and tired. I reached for my Bible and chose my Creator and His will for me. Perhaps I’m supposed to hurt and feel this way, as "the thorn in my side" like Paul talks about in 2 Corinthians 12:7-10.

Nonetheless, as I dug deeper into Scripture, starting from Genesis, and studying in-depth, all the way through Revelation, I was blown away by the miracles and healing that popped off the pages and buried themselves deep into my heart. I didn’t know why I was drawn to the Word the way I was, but it became alive to me! I found hope.

When I was in pain, I drank water and opened my Bible, instead of seeking something over the counter that I knew wouldn't work. I would cry as I learned to fast and hold tight to His Word. The pain has been deep and would leave me pale and exhausted on the couch as my kids would run around in laughter enjoying the day. I was missing out on so much because I physically couldn't join in the fun with them.

During the last few years, of me seeking the Father through His Word, I saw how Jesus made the way. I no longer had to focus on my ailment at the moment, I could choose to focus on Him. The issues would arise and my thoughts would turn to Him. My Savior. My Healer. My Messiah. He was my hope and my deliverer. I could focus on Who He was, while He walked the earth. How He loved. How He cast out demons. How He taught. The things He believed, lived, and preached. Every single thing Jesus, Yahusha Messiah, did, was to point the world to the Father (John 14:8-10). Keeping my thoughts on Him and seeking His ways in the Word would redirect my thoughts from the pain and I would briefly find relief.

During my time of digging in and testing everything in life to Scripture, I realized I need to stop focusing on myself, but why did the Father put me here? What does the Father want to do with me, in me, through me? What is His will for my life? Learning the way Jesus, Yahusha Messiah, lived and walked became my focus. I want to follow His works and love others how He loved.

Learning these lessons has been a slow process and a journey that has shown me Who the Father is and how He wants to be worshipped. Starting in Genesis and working my way through the Bible has given me incredible insights into the things He wants for His chosen people. We are so deeply loved by an incredible Creator who knows us by name. He wants a personal relationship with each of us if we will just reach out and search for Him. We can bring our burdens, sicknesses, fleshly desires that lead to sin, and we can lay them down at the feet of the cross.

Our Messiah, Jesus, Yahusha, nailed sin to the cross and by His Name we are saved. As I have learned to seek Him and try to model my life after His, I have learned that the Heavenly Father gives us a road map for our lives that is more than just words on a page in an old ancient book. The Bible can truly be used to lead us into all sorts of healing and abundance. Applying His whole Word to my life has been the foundation of my healing and the hope I have for tomorrow.

Physically - Mentally - Spiritually

If you are interested in knowing more about what I am talking about, I encourage you to pick up your Bible and start from the beginning. Read through even the hard parts like Numbers. I promise you, there is a reason we are given genealogies and numbers of items that were placed in the temple thousands of years ago. There are connections that can be made throughout history that only an all-knowing, Creator God can orchestrate. Our God, YHWH Elohim, is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow (Hebrews 13:8) and He wants to show you His good and perfect will for your life. Don’t wait until tomorrow or New Years to take this leap. Open up His Word today! Our Heavenly Father wants to show you His blessings for your life as you learn to seek Him and follow His ways.

“But seek first the reign of Elohim, and His righteousness, and all these shall be added to you.”

- Matthew 6:33

In my life, I want to remember that chorus to Natalie Grant’s song:

“Help me want the Healer, more than the healing. Help me want the Savior, more than the saving. Help me want the Giver, more than the giving. Help me want You Jesus, more than anything.”

As I have been learning to seek the desires of the Father and strive to walk in righteousness, as the Messiah did, I am experiencing that His ways are better and I want Him more than anything.

Be blessed. Seek YHWH. Share the Truth.

Lots of love,

Ashley Austin

"notmessmama"