Walking in Step with the Spirit - Part 2

Do you remember what it was like to be a teenager? For some of you, it could have been a few months ago? For others, like me, it was long ago enough that I have learned I absolutely don’t miss it, but I’m still close enough to those years in life to feel empathy for this new generation of youth.

When I was a teenager, in the 90’s and early 2000’s, we had the timeless drama and competition that the teenage girls still face, today. I believe no matter what generation comes or goes, women of all ages will always feel competitive and challenged by each other and we will always face the consequences and side effects of those two dangerous words. What these generation Z kids have, that we did not, is the abundance of social media and technology.

Sure, we had AOL Instant Messenger with dial up. Anyone else still hear the high pitches that accompanied the internet connecting when you flash back to those days? I do! Haha!

We also had three-way phone calls. Now that was a big one! I remember wanting to three-way call my friends so badly, and my parents wouldn’t budge.

Boy were they smart! If I was up to no good, which back then was often, my parents would listen on the other phone to make sure I was safe and not doing anything too naughty. Today, kids have their own cell phones as early as elementary school. Will they ever know the embarrassment of their parents listening in on a phone conversation? Probably not.

We can read their texts messages, follow them on Instagram and keep an eye on who they follow on Twitter, but the scary truth is, our kids know how to hide their lives from us. When they want to, they can be really good at it!

There are blogs out there that help guide parents in keeping their kids cyber safe. Still, there are people out there creating new apps and helping our kids keep secrets from us. I remember the secrets I kept from my parents. Some not so bad, others scare the Mom right out of me. I pray my kids aren’t as deceitful as I was in my teenage years. My poor parents! My parents tried to keep an eye out for me. They didn’t even have as many hurdles to jump because technology wasn’t as dangerous back then, as it is now.

When we went to school, we had bullying and drama, just like our parents, and their parents, before us. Our kids face the exact same issues, but we were able to go home, and for a few hours, each day, shut it off and only think about it if we chose to. Generation Z doesn’t get that 12 hour break. For this generation, social media keeps the bullying and the drama going constantly and with a filter...wait, there is no filter on social media. You can post pictures, videos, and words with no consequences. I have seen this danger first hand over the last few years.

Once something is online, it is pretty much out there, in some fashion or another, forever. This bullying follows you in your pocket (or purse). Haunting you, and tormenting you, worst then anything that could have ever been written on a bathroom stall, and painted over by the custodian, like we dealt with in our time. There is no painting over cyber bullying. If a post is deleted, you can be sure someone took a screen shot of it and can send it out as fast as your thumb can swipe the screen. Cyber bullying is just one issue our kids are facing that we never did.

I remember being told to “commit to anything” that I said I was going to do. That is such an incredible ethic that my parents instilled in me. We continue teaching this ethic to our kids, today. Aren’t we good parents?

Sure we are.

What we aren’t teaching them is how to say no. Kids, and families, today, are over-committed. The activities we commit to are usually good and will help us be better people. Serving in our church - that’s great! Joining a sport or club at school - good luck, have fun!

Did you know that sports aren’t seasonal anymore? You can join softball, basketball, or soccer, all which used to be one season long, and is now a season of competition and games with 2 seasons of conditioning and then a season of preparing for the next year. One season + 2 more seasons + a season preparing….1+2+1=4…..How many seasons do we have in a year, again?

Wait, your child wants to play more then just one sport like you did? Okay, now they have to juggle and balance the two sports, at the same time, or with very little break, in between.

Your child wants to plan for their future? Wow! Praise God! They have a “good head on their shoulders.” Guess what, that club and those honors classes are going to add to their commitment.

My husband and I were in youth ministry for 16 years together. I cannot tell you how many times we were told the following: “It’s important for our kids to go to youth group so they can learn more about God and it looks good on a college application, but we are committed in other places, so we are going to go whenever we can, but we really need to focus on the other activities that our kids have committed to. It’s super important to them and to their future.”

Hear me out - That’s not necessarily wrong, but later you will see how this could be unhealthy….so please, bear with me.

The “normal, age-old issues” along with cyber bullying and being over-commitment lead to mental and physical exhaustion, and there is no time for rest. When our kids do miraculously have a night off from their insanely busy lives, they want to be teenagers. They want to go out with their friends or go see that cute person of the opposite sex and they want to enjoy life.

When they get back from their thrilling night out, they have to make time for their homework and studies. There is no time to sleep. Our kids have to hold up an image of “having it all together” while packing on so much with little to no rest and it leaves them treading water. It is all far too much to bear.

The pressures put on our kids from their teachers, coaches, peers, selves, and even us, as their parents and/or mentors, has added to the chaos in their world.

They cannot physically be, and do, all of these things.

They cannot handle the cyber bullying. They cannot handle their schedules. No matter how well they seem to be “keeping it all together,” all we are teaching our kids to do is to bury it and “fake it until they make it.”

Relationships take time and work. You cannot get through school and life without that bestie. But this, too, is consuming, and also, adds to the chaos in their world. Instead of teens hanging out with their friends and enjoying time of socializing, they are so busy with everything going on they find a spare moment to bury their heads in their devices and scroll down on the screen to see what their peers are up to. Much of which is faux and shared with the world after endless selfies are recreated to get just the right angle and create the scene that they hope to convey as reality. Instead of having authentic friendships, our kids are left with superficial relationships with their peers through their phones. This creates an entirely NEW and deeply impactful issues that is too long to go in to, today. The point is, our kids don’t know relational transparency!

It is no surprise that we have kids who are addicted to energy drinks and juuling. We have kids who are suffering from deep anxiety and depression. We have kids who end up abusing their prescribed medication for those diagnosis’s and end up getting into heavier and even more life threatening drugs.

We have kids who are cutting their bodies and becoming bulimic in order to have some control in their lives. If you have a teenager, you may be reading all of this and are shouting NO! I know for a fact that there are wonderfully amazing Christian parents who are active and involved in their kid’s lives, churches, and communities and they are finding out their teenagers have attempted or want to commit suicide. This has become the elephant in the room and we, as the Church, have to stand up and do something about it.

The first step is talking about it. Talk to your kids about it. Let them know you are aware of the pressures that are expected of them. Really think hard about the expectations you put on your children, yourself. We have kids as young as 2nd grade who are becoming competitive and cannot cheer for a friend who does good on an assignment because that means that they didn’t do the best in the class. These are 7 and 8 year olds! When I was 8, I wanted a new Barbie doll or a pack of gum. Our kids are growing up way too fast. We need to protect them from technology, becoming over-committed, and help them navigate healthy relationships.

Technology is here and is not going anywhere. So let’s not get ahead of ourselves and try to protest or ban Instagram Snapchat, and TikTok. Rather, let’s learn how they work. Download the apps that your kids are using and see what the big deal is. Navigate through it and get an idea about the cyber world that is consuming your child while they sit next to you in the car. Talk to them about these interest.

There comes a time, and a place, when many teenagers don’t want to talk to their parents no matter how cool we think we are. Make sure your teen has an older mentor in his or her life that loves the Lord and can be a Godly example to them. Talk with this mentor, if it is your kid’s Youth Pastor, a Youth Sponsor or a family member. Whoever it is, if your child wants to talk with them and share things with them, that is not a bad thing. The most important thing is that they are talking with someone who you trust and is safe. Get to know their mentor so you know they are trustworthy and you can feel better about your child confiding in them and not you.

Commitments are a good thing, but its so important that we help our kids learn to say no. Doing too many “good things,” at one time, can easily turn in to a bad thing. Even if they seem like they can handle a full plate, this often leads to burn out and doesn’t pair well with teenage hormones and lack of sleep.

Help your child learn what they are truly interested in or passionate about. Focus on those things. Make time for God. The most important thing we can do for our kids (besides letting them know we are interested in them and available to talk) is that we show them what a relationship with God looks like. Generation Z doesn’t want to see you all get dressed up and go to church each week and then leave cussing and fighting about where you are going to eat dinner.

Our kids want to see us being real, but they also need to see a real heart change. If we have hearts that are sold out for God, they will be more willing to give their hearts to God. I have personally learned, that when trials arise in life (notice I said when, not if !!!), the only way I get through it is by clinging to God. Learning to trust and obey God and intentionally working on my relationship with Him is the best thing I can do for myself and the best example I will ever show to my kids.

Finally, we have to lessen how much we think about today and tomorrow and shift to start thinking more about eternity. Every single choice we make, each day, will either grow us closer to our Eternal Father or help us grow in the short time that we are on this earth. The earth will fade, our relationship with Elohim (Hebrew for Creator God) will last for all eternity.

While we need to do the best we can, while on earth, we need to make sure we switch our focus onto our eternal souls. Teens are focused on what they are wearing, who is dating who, what is trending, and what is going on this weekend. We have to help them see beyond that. When we start thinking more about Elohim and seek Him, and His will for our lives, things on this earth will begin to naturally fall in place. As our will and desires start changing, from the inside, and develop into Elohim’s desires and what He has planned for us, that is when I think we will see a difference in the crisis and chaos that is happening with our children.

How does the crisis and chaos, of today’s youth, fit within this study of Walking in Step with the Spirit?

I firmly believe that walking in step with the Spirit is something that we all need to learn to apply in our relationships with Yahshua (original Hebrew for Jesus). This is something that I wish I had learned when I was a youth. How much pain could I have avoided, or overcome better, if I had learned what God has been revealing to me over these last few years?

I once believed the sin and chaos in my life, during my adolescent years, were my identity. Although the choices I made and circumstances I went through were apart of my journey, those things did not define me, as I once thought. My identity is in Yahshua! (Genesis 1:27; 1 Peter 2:9; 1 Corinthians 6:19-20)

My foundation, is built upon Yahshua as my cornerstone. That is what defines me. That is my identity. Focusing on that truth, as my foundation, has helped me overcome, and have clarity, as a believer in Yahshua. I believe this is a study that we can journey through as youth, young adults, and beyond. This could lead to a mentoring and discipleship relationship within different aspects of the body of Yahshua. Elohim willing, our families and communities can be changed and hope can be restored, in Yahshua.

When we learn to walk in step with the Set-Apart Spirit of YHWH (Yahweh), the things we once thought were most important, in our day-to-day lives, suddenly, as the old hymn Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus says, “grow strangely dim” in comparison with the thoughts and what is most important to our Elohim.

These things are not hidden from us, if we only know where to look. How wonderful would it be if we can learn His ways and teach them to the young generation who will one day run the world. Now is the time to grow in our relationship with YHWH and truly seek His truth for our lives.

Remember to read His Word daily and pray boldly to Him like I encouraged you to do in Part One of this series. Seeking Him, daily, is the starting point of how all of this will tie together.

I look forward to hearing from you, and how YHWH has showed off, and been faithful to you, in your time with Him.

Be blessed. Seek YHWH. Share the truth.

Lots of love,

Ashley Austin

@notmessmama

For further reading on prayer and what we should treasure check out: Luke 11:1-13 and Matthew 6:19-34